Looks like it’s time to demote His Saviorship President Elect Obama to just President Obama. With his choices of Tom Daschle and shall we not forgot Bill Richardson for cabinet positions it has been proved Obama is only human after all. How depressing. And now this stimulus bill. Despite his mortal tendencies I think Obama would have an easier time parting the Red Sea than bridging the gap between Dems and Reps to come to an agreement. Alas. Here’s what I don’t understand.
Iraq is costing us $12 billion a month, Afghanistan $5 billion and we have enough to spare $800 billion on a stimulus package? Don’t get me wrong, stimulate away, but where is this money coming from? Bernie Madoff? Goldman Sachs? Angelina Jolie? I don’t pretend to understand the global economic situation, but I do know that money does not grow on trees. Only Jell-O does. (A little joke for the Canadians). As far as I can tell this country is going to end up trillions of dollars in debt.
At first I thought that would be disastrous. But not so anymore. Let’s say China loaned us some dough, how are they going to collect? Go to door to door and break every citizen’s legs? Threaten to foreclose on the White House? Start charging a delivery fee for my General Tso’s chicken? And Japan, what are they going to do? Recall every Hello Kitty doll? Fine. And exactly how exactly would a global economic collapse manifest itself? It’s not like we’ve had one before.
If no one has any money, and no one has any jobs it seems to me be we’d go back to the bartering system and perhaps a better way of life all together. I’ll sell you that car for three beads, two ottomans and some black eyed peas. I’ll trade you my velvet elvis, three apple pies and a ukulele for an airline ticket to France (it’s always about me getting to France). Those with arable land and manual skills would be kings and queens among us. Blackberries would be useless as no one can afford an internet connection, and the Pony Express would reemerge in full force. Artists would rule supreme as everyone recognizes that music/dance/literature and the visual arts are the only things that truly feed the soul, exemplify our humanity and inspire hope when all else is loss. So bring on the collapse!
In the meantime. I’m requesting my own stimulus package that includes a hot date, literary agent and a new spring wardrobe. Priorities people, it’s all about priorities.
1 Comment
March 3, 2009 at 9:55 am
First blog I read after wakeup from sleep today!
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Are you tension? panic?