Regarding the poison toys shipping out of China: it’s all a plot.
Yup, I think China is trying taking over the world, but not having much success. Not that I’m blaming them. Hell, I’d like to take over the world too, but I’d try to be a bit more subtle and a lot less lethal. Just because the Chinese government violates almost every human right in their own country and we ignore it, doesn’t mean we’re going to be so lackadaisical on our own turf. Dammit.
When the lead paint in toys trick backfired, China tried their hand a dealing drugs on an epic scale. I believe those bead things laced with LSD weren’t actually meant for tots, they were meant for teen clubbers. But unfortunately someone in the home office had a little too much Tsing Tao (and got an F in penmanship) and the bead shipment got sent to Walmart, (while twenty thousand pairs of polyether stretch pants got sent to a dealer named Beckford. And he’s not happy.) But hey, the mistake meant pure profits for Walmart so they just stuck a label on those babies and away they went. Oops.
My guess is China wanted to start with the club kids, get them all stoned and happy, then move on to the masses through deliveries General Tso’s Chicken and those cold green Sesame Noodles. Before you can say “pass the beef and broccoli.” you’re hallucinating Pucci prints and Pollock paintings. Within a week this country would be populated by a blabbering, drooling bunch of idling fools. Oh wait, I just described the staff of Fox News.
So there we’ll all be, rapt with attention as Ann Coulter tells us the Jews; Gays; Liberals; Puppeteers; Blacks; Vegetarians; Barristas; Stylists; Wiccans; Communists; Botanists; Environmentalists and Immigrants are ruining the American way of life while Hu Jintao-the President of the PRC, moves his Ming Dynasty porcelain collection into the White House.
Yet another reason to avoid Walmart, “Just Say No To Drugs,” and get your own Wok.
1 Comment
November 14, 2007 at 5:39 am
Congrats on the new blog Naomi. I’ll be reading it daily!